Any mother will tell you that seeing her young child engage in pretend play is a wonderful, imaginative, and creative milestone. When a toddler first imitates her mom cooking or taking care of a baby or getting dressed for a day in the office, it’s a sign of a healthy developing brain. The curiosity that comes with pretend play is not only welcomed, but encouraged throughout childhood.
For Umm Ibrahim, then an eight-year-old girl growing up in a very practicing Orthodox Coptic household in Southern California, curiosity was not treated in the same way.
It was at the age of eight when Umm Ibrahim learned about the trinity. “When I first heard it, I thought, ‘Oh, this is pretend,’” she said. During her weekly confession, she asked her priest about it.
“He was like a second father to me,” she said. “He said, ‘It’s okay. You don’t have to get it. Just understand that you’re just a child. There are people studying, and they get it. So just take it on blind faith.’”
And that is exactly what Umm Ibrahim did. She put her curiosity aside, left the “pretend” matter of the trinity alone, and continued attending church and praying for understanding for the next thirty or so years.
“I thought I had the right religion…but Allah wanted to correct me,” Umm Ibrahim said.
An “Out of Character” Marriage
Before she became Muslim, Umm Ibrahim knew nothing about Islam save for what her family thought to be true.
“I’d heard horror stories from my parents, that Muslims are awful, crazy people,” she said.
Whatever Umm Ibrahim learned about Islam at that time was not coming from a Muslim. It was all hearsay. Many people’s understanding of the faith comes from the media or stereotypes, and it is not until they happen to meet a Muslim do they begin to see their previously held beliefs about the religion were completely misconstrued or even outright false.
A person can then begin to understand the true Islam and how it is practiced through observations and conversations with real Muslim people. Many then maintain friendships with these Muslims, and some also marry as they continue to learn more about Islam and unlearn their misconceptions.
This is what happened to Umm Ibrahim—she married a Muslim man, which she said was “very out of character.” When she first met her spouse, she told him she does not date, and thus, marriage quickly was on the table.
Her parents did not have any real objections to the man himself, but they did not like his religion. They told Umm Ibrahim to speak with the church regarding the matter.
The church told her about the issues many people misunderstand regarding Islam, from multiple marriages to violence. Umm Ibrahim was told there can be people of good character that are Muslim, but their religion is bad.
“I don’t know why…I wasn’t convinced about what they said,” she explained. “I still felt at peace and comfortable [with marrying him].”
Essentially, Umm Ibrahim said that at the time she had made what she now as a Muslim knows is the prayer of istikhara, in which a person asks God for guidance in a decision.
“[Marrying him] shouldn’t have been easy, but it was,” she said.
Accepting Islam
About a decade or so into Umm Ibrahim’s marriage, her husband began participating in spiritual retreats. He would return spiritually rejuvenated, and she encouraged him to keep attending because she liked the state he came home in. They would often read about Islam together.
What they read made sense to Umm Ibrahim, but for some reason, she still felt “stuck” in her Orthodox Coptic religion.
“It came back to what I had been taught as a little kid,” she said. “I was stuck because I thought, ‘No, I’m not qualified to make this decision.’”
Her husband advised her to ask God to help her with this crisis of faith, and so she complied. The following day, Umm Ibrahim’s brother-in-law visited her and her family.
“He asked me—point blank—a question nobody asked me. He said, ‘I heard you believe in La ilaha illa Allah Muhammad Rasulullah [there is no god but Allah and Muhammad is his Messenger, the declaration of faith which enters one into Islam].’”
Umm Ibrahim paused and took a minute to think, until she realized—yes, she does believe in that. Yes, she is in fact Muslim, and she is no longer stuck.
Prioritizing Islamic Study
As the years went on, Umm Ibrahim studied Islam with her children, leading by example. She attended classes in the mosque with them. She sent them to learn with qualified scholars whose teachers come from a chain of transmission that leads back to the Prophet Muhammad (may the blessings and peace of God be upon him). She even relocated so her children could learn Islam in this way.
“My awareness, desire to learn, critical thinking are all blessings that came from the blessing of learning Islam,” she said.
Today, Umm Ibrahim sees her adult children making their own efforts to teach her grandchildren the same values she taught them, the same values the Prophet Muhammad (may the blessings and peace of God be upon him) taught. She instilled her emphasis on Islamic education into her children, and now her grandchildren and prays that her progeny will continue on this faith’s legacy.
If you’ve never met a Muslim before or you yourself are feeling “stuck,” call 877-WHY-ISLAM. Learn about Islam from a real Muslim and gain insight to what is actually believed, taught, and practiced.